


It's All in the Product Placement

by collatorsden_archivist



Category: Ashes to Ashes, Life on Mars & Related Fandoms, Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, PG - Green Cortina, Time Period: 1973-1981 (Life on Mars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-06
Updated: 2008-04-06
Packaged: 2019-01-20 19:53:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12440436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collatorsden_archivist/pseuds/collatorsden_archivist
Summary: As the title says. :)





	It's All in the Product Placement

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Janni, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [the Collators' Den](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Collators%27_Den), which was moved to the AO3 to ensure access and longevity for the fanworks. I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the Collators' Den collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/collatorsden/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Written for the "first kiss" fic meme challenge, in response to a prompt from Emeriin.

  
Author's notes: Written for the "first kiss" fic meme challenge, in response to a prompt from Emeriin.  


* * *

"How very kind of you to visit me. I suppose you want me to be grateful?" Tony Crane spat on Sam Tyler's shoes as he moved to sit down on the floor in Tony's cell.

 

 

Sam looked apprehensive, but waved the guard away and indicated wordlessly that he'd be fine if the guard wanted to wait outside the door. Which the guard promptly did, since he didn't care much for this cell's inhabitant, who was prone to what was, in the guard's opinion, extreme rudeness.

 

 

"Well...I..." Sam started, then stopped, staring at Tony, considering.

 

 

"Oh, oh, are you feeling guilty? Is that what this is about? You've come to assuage your conscience? You know, you could have a little class at least. It was a neat little trick you pulled back there, convincing everyone who mattered that I was the crazy one...I actually would have admired it if it hadn't been me you'd used it on," Tony offered a bitter little smirk as he gazed at the ragged remains of what had once been his regularly manicured fingernails.

 

 

"Actually, erm, I...I had a question." Sam had decided he wasn't going to give Tony Crane the satisfaction of seeing that he was right, and so scrambled for cover.

 

 

"And what would be so important you'd drag yourself down here to see me in person about it? Couldn't you just have asked someone here to ask for you? Or better yet, had my cell wired for surveilling?" Tony looked...bored, almost.

 

 

Time was up. Sam had to say whatever had come into his mind. Unfortunately, his mind was most uncooperative.

 

 

"I...I just have to know, how do you keep yourself looking so young?" Sam did his best to keep from wincing. He couldn't believe that was what came out of his mouth, either.

 

 

Utter boredom flickered away; now only shocked amusement was left on his face as Tony responded.

 

 

"Why...how old do you think I am?"

 

 

"Older than you look, certainly." Sam had realised something while he'd been standing here. The fact was, the Tony Crane he'd helped prevent from the future he'd known by locking him in the funny farm looked exactly the same as the one he'd known in the future he'd prevented. Far off into the future he'd prevented, in fact. It was as though the man hadn't aged a day, and Sam couldn't help but be impressed. "I've got to know your secret. Do you do yoghurt facials or what?" Sam tried his best to be conspiratorial.

 

 

Tony started, then laughed uproariously, as though Sam had just told him the funniest joke in world history.

 

 

"Do you really want to know? I suppose I can tell you, then. Come here, though...I don't want it getting out, you see." Tony lowered his voice and smiled in a way that seemed very nearly genuine.

 

 

Caught off-guard, Sam stepped in a bit closer.

 

 

Tony leaned in close to Sam's left ear and whispered "Truth is, I'm a vampire." Then he pulled just far enough away from Sam's face to gauge the shock in his eyes, which compounded exponentially when Tony then leaned in again and planted a sound, full, luscious kiss on Sam's surprisingly mute mouth. And then backed away, staring at Sam and laughing almost hysterically.

 

 

Without a word, Sam turned away and knocked crisply on the door, signaling the guard he wanted out, the kiss still burning on his lips as he stalked away.


End file.
